Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Best Random Conversation Contest!

Culture Buzz New contest! Have a random conversation with a stranger on Omegle, then post a screenshot of the result as your entry. Funny conversations get gold stars and featured on the front page, so late entries will still have a good chance of winning. The funniest conversation posted by Monday night is the winner!


Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: You are alone in a dark passage. It leads off to the east and west.
Stranger: I steal the mailbox
Stranger: wait
Stranger: crap
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ok
Stranger: look
You: There is no mailbox here
Stranger: w
You: you go west, and fall
You: youre still falling
You: you look down, and don't even see a floor
Stranger: equip parachute
You: You suddenly fall much slower
Stranger: equip umbrella
Stranger: cast soul of mary poppins
You: after about an hour of this you finally reach a floor
You: There is a door here, reinforced by steel, the engraving reads, Main Rotator.
Stranger: open door
You: The door is welded shut.
Stranger: equip BFG 9000
You: You blast a HUGE FUCKING HOLE in the door.
You: There is a long corridor.
Stranger: yodel
You: Your yodel echoes around the wall, but then you hear another voice echoing, "Hello?"
You: A man materializes out of thin air.
You: He is wearing a blue cape, he is slightly dark skinned and carrying a large staff.
Stranger: ask man if he would like to trade lunches as your mom packed you tuna "because it's good for you"
You: He says, "Welcome, adventurer, to the center of the Earth!"
You: He says, "No way man, tuna is horrible, but you can have my go gurt for free"
Stranger: take gogurt
You: You feel very powerfull.
Stranger: replace gogurt with tuna to play a trick on someone later
You: You feel weak again.
Stranger: it's okay cause i have a bfg 90000
Stranger: 9000*
You: He says, "You want to play some dungeons and dragons, a couple of my friends are coming and you can observe"
Stranger: ask why the immense gravitational forces at the center of the earth have not destroyed us yet
You: "I have the whole area enclosed in a bubble of pressure, if you push that button over there, the bubble will burst and we will all die"
Stranger: do not push button as that will prevent you from tricking someone by giving them a gogurt wrapper filled with tuna
Stranger: accept his invitation to play dnd
You: About 30 minutes later, you sit at a table with a bunch of pudgy guys in their mid thirties. The dungeon master says,
"This is a serious playthrough", "I expect total roleplaying, and no funny business"
Stranger: ask dm if he wants some gogurt
You: DM says, "My grandma wont app- AHH fuck it! Hand it over, here have my mjolnir's hammer!"
Stranger: trade tuna gogurt for mjolnir's hammer
You: You hear a thundering voice, "Use it well, my child"
You: The DM grimaces in disgust. "Dude...."
You: Suddenly, you hear a crash in the back ground, a rebel soldier bursts into the room and says, "Battle stations everyone! The storm troopers have boarded the ship!"
You: The trooper hands you a lazer pistol and rebel outfit.
Stranger: Give a confused look at the trooper since he just completely missed your BFG 9000 but accept his laser pistol anyway. check pockets of rebel outfit.
You: The storm trooper looks right through you. You find a lightsaber and a portal gun.
Stranger: check color of lightsaber
You: You also find a note that says, "Eddies in the space time continuum"
Stranger: wonder how many different universes this story will end up referencing
You: Lightsaber is green.
You: You wonder aimlessly...
You: The storm trooper slaps you, come with me!
Stranger: go with storm trooper
You: He leads you to a computer terminal, and says, before you can fight, you must sign up for our newsletter. You can also follow the rebel forces on twitter.
You: There is another tab open in the browser, it says, "www.getmeouttahere!!!!!!!!.com"
Stranger: check facebook instead
You: You check your facebook account, you have 3 friend requests, the guy that used to beat you up in high school, the ugly nerd that had a crush on you, and one of your forgotten childhood friends.
Stranger: friend them and spend the next few hours stalking their photos and reading their notes
You: You see that the ugly nerd has a whole web page as a tribute to you, the guy that beat you up is contemplating suicide, and your forgotten friend is exactly the same as he used to be.
You: You hear shooting and cursing of darth vader in the background.
Stranger: google nerd's name to see if she's rich
You: She is middle class.
Stranger: aww
You: It looks like she is sitting on a pretty nice timeshare though.
Stranger: check if station is about to explode
Stranger: do all monitors say danger or are all lights flashing red for example
You: 50% of the monitors say danger, the other half are showing a blue screen of death.
You: There is an escape pod to the west.
Stranger: steal an expensive but takeable looking piece of machinery and head for escape pod
You: you drop down and enter a twenty minute long sequence of random colors in your scree- I mean view.
You: You drop into a world where something seems wrong.
You: There are humans all running towards you, it seems they are running away from something...
You: You hear primordial yelling, they sound like.....apes?
Stranger: Does one of the humans wear a giant green suit of armor and talk to a purple lady coming out of his suit?
Stranger: ok good
You: You hear a voice in your head, "The narrator would never take you there, EVER!"
You: Suddenly the shrieks stop...
Stranger: find ape city
You: You find the ape city after years of searching, you are seen and taken in as a slave.
You: The apes torture you and treat you like crap.
You: One night, you hear many thumping sounds.
Stranger: use advanced technology to make apes think i am god
You: silly human, there is only one ape god.
Stranger: kill ape god
You: One night, you hear a thumping sound.
You: It sounds like....a crowbar.
You: Suddenly you see a man coming out of the darkness.
You: He is wearing a hazardous environment containment suit, and holding a crowbar in his right hand.
You: He says,"I am god".
You: You cannot help but to say, "I'm comming with you, Dr. Freeman!"
Stranger: set a portal in ape city with portal gun so that you could come and take over it later
You: Where does the portal lead to?
Stranger: nowhere yet, you only set one silly
You: Oh, sorry.
Stranger: forgive narrator
You: You set the portal, and no one seems to care.
You: no one in your cell that is.
Stranger: follow gordon freeman back to black mesa
Stranger: try to pick up on all the hidden g-men in various tv screens
You: You go with gordon freeman, It takes a while, but you finally get there. You arrive in the ruins of black mesa, it has been deserted for years.
You: You see the g-MAN, but he is never at a reachable place.
Stranger: ask gordon freeman if he would set you up with alyx.
You: Hes like, "Dude I've been trying to tap dat for years, the bitch is as uptight as my mother!"
You: "Alright, you can have her number"
Stranger: take number. also find and domesticate a headcrab
You: You find one, you decide to name it Lamar.
You: In your attemps to domestincate your headcrab, your portal gun slips, and a portal was created.
Stranger: unleash headcrab at apes
You: Lamar has no teeth, she fruitlessly sucks on the apes heads.
Stranger: go north
You: You enter a very dark room, there is a pudgy man playing world of warcraft.
Stranger: alright I gotta go. This was more fun than most omegle conversations kthxbai!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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