Stranger: hullo yourself :D
You: How is your life going, luv?
You: Oy, is this computer machine broken?
Stranger: whats the matter with you? :p
You: Wot? I don't understand your question.
Stranger: me neither. :p
You: Then why ask it?
Stranger: because im stupid :)
You: Oy, now don't go round sayin' that!
Stranger: okay. im really sorry :(
You: Don't call yourself stupid, luv.
Stranger: okay then
Stranger: im smart
You: So luv, what... gender? I think that's what humans call it. What gender are you?
Stranger: haha. I am a girl, and u?
You: Oh well... I think by your standards, I'd be a male but I'd classify myself as a Time Lord.
Stranger: oh really? :p
You: Yes. Are you... familiar with my race?
Stranger: why? are you a vampire? :p
You: Vampires don't exist. Well, plamsavores do and they are similar to you humans silly vampire.
You: I mean, who has ever heard of a vampire SPARKLING?
Stranger: I LOVE TWILIGHT!!!!! :D
You: ... Oh dear, I think I've lost her.
You: I'm sorry. I am so sorry .
Stranger: LOVE IIIITTTTTT
Stranger: why? :p
You: Because Twilight is actually an infectious virus.
You: You'll be dead in about a week
Stranger: I know . You get obsessed!!
You: The obsession you're feeling is actually tiny parasites eating away at your tiny brain.
You: ONly stupid people get infected ofr obvious reasons
Stranger: actually my brain is bigger than yours. I think of love and piece. When boys only think of WAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!
You: It's spelled "peace." And as a Time Lord, I'm against war
Stranger: whatever geek
You: And how old are you?
Stranger: im 16, u?
You: I'm a 900-year-old Time Lord. I think I win.
Stranger: yea right :D
Stranger: do you have any friends, geek? :)
You: Wow, nice comeback from the teeny-bopper Twilight-lover with a parasite eating her almost non-existent brain.
You: I'm 900 years old. Of course I have friends.
You: You do realized Edward Cullen is an abusive pedophile?
Stranger: okay. has he fucked you though?
Stranger: time lord is another word for gay lortd :D
You: He can't "fuck" anything. In order to get an erection, he'd have to have blood but vampires don't.
Stranger: God, you're wierd?
You: Not only that, but his blood was replaced by a poisonous venom, according to SMeyer, so that would have killed Bella as soon as she came into contact with that.
You: Not weird, just smart and sensible.
Stranger: okay geek. bye?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I do believe Time lord > Twitward :D